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Marlins Make Splash in New Park

 

Let me make it clear, in my opinion there are two, and only two type of splashes: the first being a perfectly executed swan dive in which the diver seems to glide through the air and cuts through the surface of the water without any form of resonance , the second splash consists of an over-dramatic running start, a path just nearly avoiding the pool side capped off with an unnecessary explosion of H20 sent flying in every direction, wetting every phone, platter of food and relaxed onlooker in the process… the Miami Marlins season opener was the latter of the two.

Queue the young latina carrying an oversized Miami flag, the fireworks and the never ending montage of every Miami native recording artist. Throw in the awkward live-streamed conversation between a Spanish speaking family and their relative in Afghanistan, sprinkle in the announcer’s attempt to translate the mournful dialogue and don’t forget to insert the sorrow-triggering appearance of Parkinson’s-stricken Muhammad Ali only to be driven out on a maintenance vehicle and then quickly carted off after a botched attempt to get an ‘Ali’ chant going. Without even mentioning the Vegas showgirls, the quiet marching band performance and the glitchy Jumbotron you have an opening day that is equally incoherent as the new ‘Lins Logo and just about as disappointing as the team’s performance Wednesday night.

It took 7 innings for the Marlins to get a hit, until then the 36,000 fans were left with nothing to cheer about. Miami ace Josh Johnson gave up 10 hits, his second time doing so in his career while allowing 3 earned runs with only 4 strikeouts. The defending World Champions St. Louis Cardinals looked un-phased by the offseason loss of MVP Albert Pujols, surrendering only 1 run while adding 4 of their own with a total of 13 hits. Without any action at the plate or any success in the field, this was the exact opposite start first year manager Ozzie Guillen was hoping for. It’s hard to decide what was worse, the Inaugural Opening Game at the new Marlins Park or the play on the field.

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